I have two (or more) selves I offer to the world daily …the one true me and the “ideal” me. the imagined me is giving, accepting, tolerant, virtuous, easy, present, compassionate, enthusiastic and above all, full of gratitude. then there is the me that I fight to accept, the scared, hurt, angry, self-righteous, envious, critical, erratic, pitiful, beaten, despondent, sometimes suicidal me.; she is a bitch. I know from watching OWN and the Thich Nhat Hanh interview http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Oprah-Talks-to-Thich-Nhat-Hanh/6 that I could treat that me as a baby, an infant who depends on my love and care. I can’t love that me, for some reason. I hate that me. If I could kill her, I would. But that would mean killing the other me, the me I imagine. The me I can be sometimes, if I am living here and now. In the moment. One breathe at a time.
I’m willing to try this, which I hope can last a week, to arise each morning and breathe mindfully and express gratitude for the present moment. Even if it is shitty, even if it is yucky feeling and uncomfortable (as most mornings are at 6, for true me anyway) I will say thank you for it, embrace it and breathe again. Until the moment of beautiful acceptance for it, and that me no longer has power over the other.