recovery is forever

“I love the person I’ve become because I’ve fought to become her.’  I read that today.  I also listened to a podcast on the “tired of thinking about drinking” blog many of you know because of her 100 day challenge.  Overall, I’m thinking that punishing myself for not doing a particular program like AA to maintain sobriety is so stupid and pointless.  There is no “right” way to stay sober.  It is personal and subjective and not open to criticism.  Like anyone’s choices in life, sobriety is my own.  And like the respect I grant others in their daily lives, so must I give myself the same amount of acceptance, tolerance and patience.  My sobriety began the moment I decided I wanted it.  That simple.  Not a moment sooner.  At my ladies AA meeting the other night, someone said, “If love coulda gotten me sober…well I’d been sober a long time ago.”  Exactly .  We must choose the moment.  Or rather (because I believe in higher power) the moment was destined to happen when it did, because I was brought to it by the Grace of God (or whatever you want to call the force pulsing in us, above us, around us, thru us, the energy that exists only in the present moment).  For me, God is a good name for it.  But I’m getting off track.  What is true is that any person who WANTS it, can have it.  And any way you figure out how to want it more than you want your addiction, is ok.  Anyway you decide how to stay Here–as the blogger known as Belle says–is a good way.  The paths to truth are many, as is the path toward recovery.  This road I’m on is my own.  I’m a trail blazer.  I’m taking the road less traveled, I am sure.  Life like recovery is unique and special and precious.  I won’t waste another second doubting my own recovery and the ways I’ve made a path and manage to stay on it. 

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5 thoughts on “recovery is forever

  1. Yup…lots of folks out here who don’t do AA. I wrote about that not too long ago in my corner of the world, as I saw that while most people think it’s all AA all the time, etc…it really isn’t. Being out here in the sobersphere…hell, we’re in the minority! That’s pretty cool and I do dig what other people are doing ,even if I don’t have the same experience or even agree. Sober and happy is what counts. And as you mentioned, we have our own journeys…so I am going to see what others are doing, but I am going to focus on where I need to be myself.

    Good stuff.

    Love and light

    Paul

  2. That was very beautifully put. I had conversation with my mother today about how I needed to disconnect herself from my battle with alcoholism. I’m 28 and Im home from law school on medical leave. I came home after UCLA last saturday and she said smelt alcohol my breath. I wasnt drunk, but I did with some college friends. Wherever go, whever I am my whole family needs to know and wants me rehab and checks up me. I really triend to tell her I need them to try disconnect my from alcoholism, that theres nothing they can ever do that will take alcohol away from and that I only person who get sober. Anyway that conversation today, not in argumentative kind of way but as a conversation I really needed o hvae. I hope you keep writing.

  3. I’ve been to AA once, last time I tried to quit. It honestly freaked me out bc I was 24 and everyone there had problems much worse than mine (or so I thought at the time). This time, I quit bc it was time. I’ve been writing, I’ve been reading, finding ways to help myself that don’t involve meetings. A friend of mine suggested I start an anonymous blog so I could just write and people going through the same things could respond to it. No one I know personally has given up drinking (except my dad but it’s hard to talk to a parent) my bf was a meth user years ago but has been clean for a few years. He’s been wonderful in helping me through all the emotions. One day at a time is all I can do, I just can’t wait till I can wake up and not think about how I need to repair myself anymore

  4. I have been sober for a little more than three years. I haven’t done it with AA or NA, I have done it with God. Addiction is a personal problem and has to be dealt with on a personal level with help from others. There is no perfect way. Like you said at the end, make a path and stay on it.

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