Abilif-uuuuuck

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Abilify is a creation of big Pharma; according to its website you can add to an ineffective anti-depressant because, “after at least 6 weeks on your antidepressant you are still experiencing symptoms of depression, talk with your doctor about the option of adding ABILIFY (aripiprazole).  ABILIFY is meant to be taken in addition to an antidepressant—not instead of it.” 

Also from personal testimonies found on the website, Roy says, “It’s a journey from where I was before versus where I am now.”  No shit, Roy my man.  

Let me tell you about my “journey” over the past month of adding this drug as an experiment to decrease my depression symptoms.  First the side effects are probably more problematic to me than my damn depression.  Insomnia, vertigo, agitation, allergic reations like breathing difficulty and itchiness, heart rate increases, weight gain, stroke (well, i haven’t had one yet but it could be any day with this high blood pressure). Never in my 11 years on an anti-depressant have I felt so many “side -effects.”  Ya know what they should call them really…for posterity  (why would a multi billion dollar company need to be truthful)… “things that may kill you or make you wish you were dead”   And the irony?  You will want to spend more money at the doctor in attempts to be rid of them.  That is, if you don’t die first.

I can’t live without anti-depressants at this point in my “journey”  But guess what.  Abilify is not an antidepressant.  It’s another class altogether, the very mysterious “anti-psychotics”.  Psychotic?   Being depressed for a long time can make you crazy.  Like suicidal I guess.  But does supplementing your anti-depressants meds with a drug meant for schizophrenia and bi-bolar sound right?  It didn’t to me either, but I was so depressed I was willing to give it a shot.  Let me just say, this will be the last round of  experimentation with pharmaceuticals.  My “journey from where I am versus where I will be”  cannot be this cocktail of side-effects so grave that I lay awake at night feeling my cheast tighten and face itch.  Also, interestingly enough, eating nachos at midnight.  Strangely foraging in the fridge for snacks at ungodly hours. The sleepiness during the day because I’m polishing furniture at 1 AM is not helpful to my depression.  The irritableness, the hunger pains, the loopy lazy daytimes to manic nightimes…all no bueno for a major depressive.  This is not what I expected.   Goodbye you crazy drug for crazies…I’m gonna just stick with depression and go for a run.  

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One thought on “Abilif-uuuuuck

  1. Thank you for sharing this!
    Good on you for listening to your body and making decisions to stay healthy.
    Keep on running! Such a good release, it is.

    mmmm… nachos

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