Butterfly Effect

Maya Angelou said that, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty” I read somewhere that if you were to interrupt a butterfly’s emerging from its cocoon it would die. The process of breaking free of the chrysalis is mandatory for its wings to be functional. A butterfly that does not struggle and push through slowly will not be able to fly and will ultimately die. How relevant is this story for recovery? I’m in the 21 month of my sobriety. That fact seems unreal. But here I am, almost 2 years without a drink. Sobriety is a change, not unlike what the butterfly experiences. For me to keep it up every day, the not drinking and staying alive gig, I’ve got to do a few things that require some work or struggle? I’m coming out of my cocoon of fear, pathology, neuroses, infancy, ego…any word that describes a sick, selfish asshole works. Here is a list of what must take place daily for me to be a healthy person that can face the day:
1. surrender to His will for me through prayer and acceptance
2. meditation, even a brief moment of conscious breathing, to bring me closer to the awareness of a higher power
3. taking things as they come, going with the flow, staying positive about people places and things (all this cannot be possible for me without 1 and 2)
4. being of use to someone or something, stepping away from my shit and giving my attention to another
5. talking or writing about what scares me, my worries, my character defects and allowing my sponsor to be the “appraiser” because like any alcoholic knows we can’t go into our heads without an escort
6. be grateful, acknowledge that grace has saved my life and that now, every day, i have an obligation to offer up my gratitude
7. humility (this one is tough because like all alcoholics also know, we are always right)
8. and another Maya-ism “Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud”

Only doing these things do I stand any chance of becoming this beautiful butterfly the world gets to enjoy and appreciate. /p>

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