“nothing will work unless you do”

A wise woman once said “Nothing will work unless you do”. I feel this is where I’m at now; over two years sober and life on life’s terms has become unbearable for me. The day to day search for meaning, motivation and push to live in moments. I have a real problem with acceptance. Nothing is working the way I planned. Isn’t that ironic? I guess I assumed things would be easier. Listening to a speaker podcast yesterday, one guy said “the longer I’m sober the harder it gets” Exactly. This life is hard to swallow. The responsibility and burden of making each day count. I get overwhelmed and exhausted. Or maybe I’m lazy. I feel like I’ve climbed a mountain and I’m looking down from the peak to all that lays ahead before me and it’s too much. My sponsor reminds me, “How do you eat an elephant?” One bite at a time. One day at a time. I wrote that on my bathroom mirror in eyeliner. I’ve forgotten it’s there. I wish I could inhabit that place my higher power graces me every so often… the joy of gratitude that washes over me in certain moments. I long to have it accompany all my day and nighttimes; but it’s fleeting. Another irony.

One of my favorite parts of the big book is the chapter on acceptance. The knowledge that nothing, absolutely nothing happens in Gods world without a grand purpose. Even my suffering thru sobriety, my discontent, brings me to the place I must need to be. I don’t know the plan. What I want, and what God wants, are two entirely separate things and getting those two things to align is the challenge of my life.

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3 thoughts on ““nothing will work unless you do”

  1. Step 11: Sought through prayer AND MEDITATION to improve our CONSCIOUS CONTACT with God…” When I reached that point on my journey where I understood that this is a vital activity, everything changed. I do not experience depression any more. Also, understanding the true meaning of Steps 6 and 7 meant a lot. I wish you well along your journey.

  2. Hi S&F,

    I don’t know about God, my own version of life and aligning with the plan is a little different but if you are overwhelmed and exhausted I am guessing that you push it too hard. Nothing will work unless you do is true, but it is not the only thruth. And it is only applicable when people are lazy. You are not. If you were you would not be overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the day. And even if it means that doing half the dishes is overwhelming you and that gets you exhausted than that is how it is.

    Maybe ‘making it count’ for you currently means enjoying yourself more so you do not feel life as a burden. I don’t think life was meant as a burden. There are troublesome times and they specifically come up when we do things that cause trouble (ha! like drinking shitloads). But the trouble was never meant to rule, only to teach us and tell us not to go there anymore.

    Hope it helps a little,
    Feeling

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